Q&As from the CIS
18 September 2009

I just received a few questions from the Russian forum so I will try to post them one by one.

Q1) Here’s question one (questioner was not identified):

Dear Maharaj. I have a question to you which probably was asked to you not once. 4-th principle. More and more they say it is possible in the family life. I don’t doubt in it at all. But what about the people who gave vows. If the mataji  gives a vow, and then getting marry with not initiated devotee. Or just with friend of Krishna.

The situation is: Mataji is getting marry with vegetarian, who likes Krishna’s consciousness. This lovely guy does not want to follow to 4-th princip at all. But their relations are getting to the serious level. And in this moment older vaishnavs offer to take [give] initiation this mataji as soon as it possible, she was dreaming about it last 10 years. What should she do in this case? Broke relations which are close to marriage? Or for example to get initiation and then just follow her matrimonial debt, implying that husband violates it, but not she? ))

Ans:

First of all, please don’t address me as ‘Maharaja’, I have a long way to go before I become qualified for that title!

This is the closest I will come to being a Maharaja!

This is the closest I will come to being a Maharaja!

Prabhu‘ is our usual way of addressing each other.

I don’t know these people personally so I can only answer this in a general way.

I think this girl is being tested by maya. Just as she is coming close to making a committment to Krsna by accepting the vows of initiation, along comes an ordinary soul who does not even want to follow the basic principles of human life, what to speak of the spiritual principles for making advancement back to Godhead, and she becomes attached to him.

This will end in spiritual disaster for her if her boyfriend is not interested in being a devotee. Not only is he not going to following the ‘no illict sex’ principle, which will make it impossible for her to observe also, but it seems from your question that he is an intoxicator etc. Even if he is a vegetarian, that is not an indication that he wants to develop spiritually. So where is there any question that a devotee can be happy being married to such a mundane person? If she wants to move closer to Krsna then marriage to this man, no matter how lovely he seems to be, will not help her.

The bare facts are that after a couple of years of marriage the ‘honeymoon’ period is over and things become routine and hard work. The excitment of each other’s company becomes less and the daily uninspiring routines take over. If this girl has already developed a taste for Krsna consciousness, it will become difficult for her if her husband does not want to encourage or cooperate with her spiritual efforts.

king-kong-and-the-mrs

However, if he is not inimical to Krsna consciousness, if he is interested in devotional life, then maybe she can gradually bring him closer to Krsna by her own devotional practice. That can sometimes happen but it is difficult.

I am sure there are other perspectives on this, but this is one you might consider seriously.

Here’s question one:
1. Dear Maharaj. I have a question to you which probably was asked to you not once. 4-th principe. More and more they say it is possible in the family life. I don’t doubt in it at all. But what about the people who gave vows. If the mataji  gives a vow, and then getting marry with not iniciated devotee. Or just with friend of Krishna. The situation is: Mataji is getting marry with vegetarian, who likes Krishna’s consciousness. This lovely guy does not want to follow to 4-th princip at all. But their relations are getting to the serious level. And in this moment older vaishnavs offer to take initiation this mataji as soon as it possible, she was dreaming about it last 10 years. What should she do in this case? Broke relations which are close to marriage? Or for example to get initiation and then just follow her matrimonial debt, implying that husband violates it, but not she? ))
First of all, please don’t address me as ‘Maharaja’, I have a long way to go before I become qualified for that title! ‘Prabhu’ is our usual way of addressing each other.
I don’t know these people personally so I can only answer this in a general way.
I think this girl is being tested by maya. Just as she is coming close to making a committment to Krsna by accepting the vows of initiation, along comes an ordinary soul who does not even want to follow the basic principles of human life, what to speak of the spiritual principles for making advancement back to Godhead, and she becomes attached to him.
This will end in spiritual disaster for her if her boyfriend is not interested in being a devotee. Not only is he not going to following the ‘no illict sex’ principle, which will make it impossible for her to observe also, but it seems from your question that he is an intoxicator etc. Even if he is a vegetarian, that is not an indication that he wants to develop spiritually. So where is there any question that a devotee can be happy being married to such a mundane person? If she wants to move closer to Krsna then marriage to this man, no matter how lovely he seems to be, will not help her.
The bare facts are that after a couple of years of marriage the ‘honeymoon’ period is over and things become routine and hard work. The excitment of each other’s company becomes less and the daily uninspiring routines take over. If this girl has already developed a taste for Krsna consciousness, it will become difficult for her if her husband does not want to encourage or cooperate with her spiritual efforts.
However, if he is not inimical to Krsna consciousness, if he is interested in devotional life, then maybe she can gradually bring him closer to Krsna by her own devotional practice. That can sometimes happen but it is difficult.
I am sure there are other perspectives on this, but this is one you might consider seriously.

Your humble servant,

Hari-sauri dasa

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